Well, I am trying this whole writing thing again after taking way too long off of it. Honestly my life in 2011 has to be blatant, it sucked. February is where it all started and things have taken a roller coaster ride since, but who wants to hear how my life has been terrible compared to how I think it should be? Instead of ranting and raving about how life ain't fair or how much has been going wrong, I want to focus on positive things and maybe I can finish this year out on a high note.
The quote "When God closes one door and opens another" has been the way of life for me when I was waiting, quite impatiently in the "dark" waiting for another door to open, He gave me time to think. I came up with a few truths and goals for myself for at least the rest of the year.
-I am the happiest girl you will ever MEET, until you get to KNOW me and my story, not all lives, families or stories are perfect, and no expects you to be, but if your giving someone a first impression might as well put on a smile and leave a good one.
-I smile all the time, mostly for myself to make me happy, but I like to think if I smile at one person a day who was having a bad day and they even smiled back I have made a contribution to this world worth making.
-Make a plan and you better believe it won't follow through or something will go wrong. Make a plan, say a prayer and put your all into something and if God knows it's what you need it will happen.
-Sometimes the people you look up to and love the most are the ones who hurt you the deepest.
-No matter how bad things seem they can always get worse, but they could also get better, much better.
-Sometimes you just have to LET PEOPLE GO, if they come back into your life they are worth having if not, you didn't need them anyway.
-You can't trust people right off the bat, make them earn it, once you break trust that is a long hard road to get back to.
-Prayer is the BEST thing God ever gave us. I mean we get to talk to Him, the being who created us and everything around us. And even God has a sense of humor to answer them, so watch out :)
I found out recently that i had bad anxiety and depression which is strange coming from the happiest most smiley girl you will ever meet but in the thoughts that went through my head about not being here, on earth, wanting to die so that I could go to Heaven away from tears and heartache. I found out that to live not waiting for anything in live but just waiting to die is the worst way to live, don;t get me wrong I can't wait to be in Heaven, but you have a reason you are on this earth, that is to live. If God wanted all angels he wouldn't have created humans. I found out that it was the simple things in my life that kept me going. I have a list, that is not going to be disclosed here, but its a bucket list of sorts and one thing on it is to see the west coast. This is where my title comes in, it's a song that is all about my situation by Emery.(Check it out). I'm tired of being sad and lonely, I want to truly be happy inside and out, so I plan on doing all the things on my list. Even if I fail at them I know I attempted them. I will find something everyday that makes my life worth living and something to be thankful for everyday. Pray for me on my journey.
Remember, I've always been M.E. (Mychal Erin)
(clever i know)
